Senin, 08 November 2010

New Divine Light

I tried to be silent…

And still in a peaceful condition

I closed my eyes, and dreamed

Oh, how beautiful life will be…

If I can control every situation

If I can have what I hoped and desired…

All my dreams…

Oh

They all failed

And that’s all because of…

No, I wont and cant blame anybody

Except me..

Myself

i..

oh, how dreadful I am!

This is what makes me think that…

LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A TRASH

That loved to destroy both me and my dreams

Killed every single breathe I have


Suddenly..

as this thought plays in my mind..

i realized that i am sitting down in darkness

along with the misery, pain, and sorrow..

yes, i am blind..

i can see nothing..

and will never see anything..

if i stayed where i am right now..


Its true that in a darkness..

even my own shadow left me...

that is why I need God's Divine Light

to enlighten me..

not my condition...

but my perspective...

to open my eyes..

so i will see, the way He sees..

That is why now I utter a new prayer...

with the new desire to see the light...


GOD! Don’t leave me…

Never never let me go, Lord

Who am I without You?

NOTHING

A small dust that has no value

Please forgive me Lord

Give me a second chance..

Don’t take your spirit out from me

Holy Spirit, You must know how much I love and need You

I give my whole life to tell the world about Your Glory

Use me, shape me Lord

To be the one that You want

As long as You are still with me,

I promise I will bear anything that is necessary…

But don’t leave me, that’s all..

I love Your laws and promises

Both of them are as sweet as honey in my heart….

Am I boasting?

Oh Lord, I really need You

This world is like a terrible hell for me

And I can arrive until this day is just because of Your Hand and Protection

And Your Favor

Which I am craving so much…

Lord, if You left me, I’d better die..

Who else do I have in this world except You?

I fought in a battle with no one helped me

Except You…

God, please, never lose attention on my life

Don’t feel disgusted with my life..

I’m not perfect Lord

I’m a sinner

Please have mercy on me

Don’t judge me yet…

Please give me chances

Please have mercy

Oh God

I’m dead already without Your Mercy and Favor..

GOD, DON’T LEAVE ME

I believe I am not talking to an imaginary friend now, nor I myself am imaginary

But I am talking to the creator of the world and the whole universe

I am talking to my own Creator

And I am… His creation, kneeling down humbly before His throne, giving praises and thanks to Him

Let me see, Lord..

Bring me back to the beginning,...

to the Light You created...

open my eyes, so I will see..

give me new perspective...

that I will understand...

Great is Your faithfulness o God my Father…

Faith and Courage Come from the Right Worldview

Our worldview is the foundation of our life. How high a building can go and how long that building will stay are determined by the foundation. The foundation is the one which sustained the building. If the foundation is strong, the building can be built very high and it will also stay for a long time. If the foundation is not deep and weak, the building cannot be too high because the foundation might not be able to sustain the pressure. Or, if the building is still built high, that foundation cannot stand the pressure for a long time. One day, the building will fall to the ground. Another case is that the foundation is already made strong. It is supposed to be able to sustain the pressure of a high building. But if there is a small crack in the foundation, it also cannot sustain the building for a long time because the crack will be bigger and bigger due to the pressure. One day, the crack will be big enough to swallow the whole building into the earth. So our worldview serves as the foundation for our life. Our worldview will determine how high our dreams can be achieved and how long we will remain on that height or even improve it. If we want to achieve big dreams, visions, we have to have the strong worldview that will not just take us to that great level, but also to keep us being there. The first worldview that we have to concern is our worldview towards God. Our view towards God will affect all our worldviews towards His Creations.

I used to wonder why Israelites were easily to murmur while Moses was not even though both of them walked together and experienced God’s miracles everyday. Israelites had experienced how God had freed them from Egypt but still they complained. They complained when they got the Bread from Heaven from God because they said they were bored. They demanded God to give them meat. They demanded God to give them water when there was no water. They made a bull statue and worshipped it when Moses was on the mountain receiving the Ten Commandments from God. Why? Israelites had seen God’s guidance everyday, but why they are still ungrateful? While Moses who also walked in the wilderness just like the Israelites and also experienced the same trouble as them did not murmur like what Israel did.

The way Israelites viewed GOD is different with the way Moses viewed God. The way Israelites viewed God is similar with how the Egyptians viewed God. For Israelites, God is a like a cosmic funding machine who will always serve their needs. For them, God is simply a miracle Maker. Just like the Egyptians worshipped their gods and goddesses because of a hidden agenda. So, when something happened not like they’d hoped or desired, they would begin to question God and complain. They did not understand God’s plan for them (Irrationalism). This is Pantheism. They could not see God’s providence as something to be thankful with. They could hardly follow God’s order and laws. Moses, in the contrary, he did not just know God’s miracles, but he also knew God’s characters and His heart. He made God as his own True God instead of just a miracle-Maker. He had a good relationship with God and talked to God regularly. Moses got a revelation from God about all God’s ways and will. Moses believed that God’s miracles are God’s providence because God will never give a vision without the Provision. So, when troubles came, He still believed that God would never leave him. He knew for sure that if God had provided what he needed in the past, God would provide his needs again for now. He believed in God’s Future Grace. That is why he just continued to walk in faith with God and did not want to complain. He loved God’s laws and orders.

From the comparison of Israelites and Moses, I could see that worldview matters. My worldview towards God will affect my worldview towards the challenges, rules, people, and God’s miracles. That worldview then will determine my responds to them. What will I do when things did not turn out to be what I’d hoped? How will I respond when all things in my life are falling apart? What will I do when it seems like God is so far away? Will I blame God when I lost everything and unfair things happened to my life? Will I question God when suddenly all my dreams are shattered? Will I complain when I am given so many rules? All the answers of these questions are determined by my worldview towards God. Who is God for me? Do I pray and read the bible only when I need a blessing for Him? Or, because I am hungry and thirsty to meet Him and hear His voice? Am I making God as the only God in my life, or I have many other gods in my heart that replace His First Place in my heart? Do I love God above all things? Above my friends, gadgets, or movies?

Yes, I used to have a wrong worldview towards God. I realized that I was just like the Israelites who complained when things went wrong. I know now that this is the affect of my worldview towards my God. Without my realization, I have made God not the only God in my life. I had several other gods that actually had replaced God’s First Place in my heart. Now, I am going to make a decision to put God as Number One in my heart. He is the only Owner of my heart, mind, and whole body. Wherever God wants me to go, I will go. Whatever God wants me to do, I will do. I will keep doing what is right even though many people might be against me. When troubles come, I will not get discouraged. I will not question God when unfair things happened. I will keep walking with God in faith. I believe He is always holding my hands even in times of troubles. He is ready enough to help me every time I cried out for helps. God is never far away. He is close to me, very close that every time I prayed, He heard me. He knew I am not be strong enough to solve the problems happened. That is why He provides His strength and joy to strengthen me, so that when I run, I will never get weary. All the miracles that He had done in the past are the guarantee that no matter how difficult my problems I am going to face, He can help me again. There is always a solution for every problem.

God's Hands Are Real

Where is God? If God exists, why life is sometimes unfair? Why there must be people who are dying and suffering? I believe, these are not rare for all of us. A lot of people, surprisingly some of them are Christians, asked these questions. That is why we can see nowadays that many Christians became apostates. When things do not work out, instead of keep working and trusting God, they started to question God, blame God, and blame the circumstances. Then they left God. They refused to read the Bible, pray, or serve God. It was exactly what the Bible says in Proverbs 19:3 (NKJV), “The foolishness of a man twists his way, and his heart frets against the Lord.” They began to go with their own ways instead of asking God which way to choose. As long as the ways seemed good to their own eyes, they would not hesitate to do it even though it was not a right way. They would not care again about God’s purpose for their life. All became nonsense for them. They just went with the flow, pleased their desires. They had no more passion to change themselves and fight. They became very discouraged and ended up wasting their time just to please their flesh. Then, they would believe that there was no God. They lived only for themselves, served their own desires. That means, by doing that, they had made themselves the god.

This kind of way of lifestyle or idea is actually not new. It already existed in this world long time ago in Greek. Greek civilization then had affected the worldview of the other civilizations, including our civilization. Questioning God, blaming God, blaming the circumstances, laziness to fight, going with the flow, lack of faith in God, making himself a god are exactly like the Greek worldview which believed in deism. The Greece had no concept of trusting gods. That is why they did not think they could make their life better. They thought that God had no control of their life, and their life was already fated to be miserable. Yes, they ended up in frustration. That is what made them do anything that would please them even though it was evil. So, actually, people can be Christians, but their mindset was still pagan. Sadly, many of them did not realize that until they finally ended up in the destruction. Ideas have consequences.

Recently, I watched a movie DVD which came from a true story called, “The Miracle of the Cards”. It was a very inspiring movie for me because it explained how God’s Hands are real in our life, and miracles will still happen as long as we keep our faith in God. This is how the movie goes: There was a Christian eight-year old boy named Craig Shergold who got a fatal brain cancer. At first, it was a tumor, but later it became a very dangerous cancer. Moreover, they found out that cancer was an unusual cancer. The cancer had teeth, hair, and nails. It usually found in a stomach, but now in this little boy’s brain. When this boy’s parents heard this, they were so broken hearted. It was so easy for them to lose their faith in God, but they did not. This boy’s mother prayed to God desperately. She knew that no one could heal this boy except God. At that time, his mother was confused to know which doctors she must choose. She asked God to show her the right doctor to handle Craig, and God did showed her. When she was walking through a hospital hall which had full of doctors’ pictures, suddenly she saw a flash light on one of the doctors’ picture. It was only her who could see that flash; not even her own husband could see it. She quickly approached that picture and told the administrator there that she needed to see that doctor. She was so sure that the doctor was used by God to heal Craig even though she could not see it yet. I am also touched by that little boy’s faith when he faced his deadly sickness. He was always optimistic in facing all the operations and processes. It was even he who ensured his mother and father that he was never going to die even though all the doctors talked about prolonging his life. The boy always talked about healing. He believed that God never left him. His mother was also optimistic. Even though she knew that her boy was dying, she did not give up. She helped her boy broke the Guinness Record by having 315 million cards. This made the boy got more passion to fight. Even though the doctor whose picture was flashing finally gave up, she did not give up. The doctor could only heal the tumor in the boy’s backbone. Her husband almost gave up, but Craig’s mother and Craig both did not give up. One day, when they were sent home by the doctor because nothing else the doctor could do, a mother saw a flashing light again on one of the cards Craig received. It was the card from a very wealthy man from America who was inspired by Craig’s courage. This man was told by God to bless this family. So, that wealthy man talked to the best doctor in America to handle Craig. He also paid all the tickets and all that they needed for going to America. Finally, they made their way to America. In America, the doctor admitted that the cancer was so big that he needed to make a very risky operation. The operation could cause death, blindness, deaf, or comma. Hearing this, the mother still insisted to do the operation. She believed that this is the way God gave for healing her son. The boy, hearing this, also did not afraid to take this operation. Again, he promised his parents that he will never die. And, yes! The boy was fully healed from his cancer! More surprisingly, the last 3 minutes of the video of Creig’s operation was suddenly blackout. Nobody could tell the reason why. This proved that it was not the doctor’s hands who actually healed Creig. It was God’s Hands. Since that day on, he could come back to his normal life. Now, the boy is 22 years old, and his life had become an inspiration to the whole world.

This movie really inspired me to trust God that God never let His Hands off my life. He was actually working from the beginning of my life until the end of my life. The problem why a lot of people are dying and suffering is not because God does not exist, but because they refuse to come to Him and receive His mercy. Isaiah 65:24 says, “And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” God knew my needs before I asked Him. What He needs is just my faith in His promises. If only I would just surrender our own ways and followed His ways, He could turn all the negative things that the devil created to be my goodness and His glory. What is impossible really can be possible if I endured my faith until the end. That is why I need to fight like how Craig fought against his cancer. He was still small – eight years old. He could just make excuses by saying that he was just too small to fight against this dangerous cancer, but he did not do that.

From now on, I will trust God with all my heart. I trust Him to take control of my whole life. I believe He knows much better that I do. But, it does not mean I do not work. No matter how difficult challenges I will face, I must keep moving on. I am not fated to lose, but I am guaranteed that I will be a victor. Though things might not work out, I should keep trying and working. I will accept the challenges and gain victory over it! God says that all of us are more than a conqueror. No challenges, no conquerors. God blessed those who worked. He would see the good work I did and gave me the reward for it. He hated the lazy people who just surrendered to their fate. I will not just do my own ways that look pleasing in my eyes. Instead, I will do what God says in the Bible. Even though at first God’s way might be painful and not pleasing at all, His way will end up in a blessed life.

Perfection Is Not to Be Pursued


Greeks’ worldview was all about wickedness, disrespect, immorality, trickery, and many other sinful things. Not only that, in The Classical Period (480-323 B.C.), Plato introduced his new concept of idealism which is accepted by the Greeks. In this idealism, people believed that there were an ideal world and a shadow world. And, now they think they were trapped in the shadow. Their human bodies, things, and all other creations in the world were just the shadows for them. They believed that there was the perfect ideal for everything, and they want to get nearer to that ideal. They look for that ideal. For them, the only way to reach the ideal world is by studying hard (philosophy).

Greek’s influence has spread to everywhere in this world. The wickedness, deceitful attitude, and immorality are not rare in this modern period. Most of the young people have been affected by this kind of worldview. They feel cool when they become the cruelest people. They no longer long for the truth. Pornography and homosexual that happened nowadays also came from the Greek worldview hundred years before Christ. Idealism is also still rooted in people’s minds. Divorce and quarrel which often happened in families and communities are just caused by this idealism. They simply look for the unrealistic ideal mother, father, spouse, siblings, or friends. They wish they could have ‘this’ kind of parents, school, or church. So, they keep changing everything. At the end, they themselves will be frustrated because they found out that there is no such ‘ideal’. Everybody makes mistakes, and none is perfect; but everybody has their uniqueness too. If only we could accept their weaknesses, we could be happy with our life without being disappointed all the time.

Apparently, I realized that, as the most of the young people, I suffered this idealistic mentality too. I think that there must be the ideal ‘me’. Not just in the appearance, but also in the matter of intellectual and wealth. That is why I am never thankful with what I already have and I always want more than that. I can never be content. I keep striving and working hard to reach my ‘ideal’ which is most of the time unrealistic. Not rare I become frustrated and depressed at the end because I failed to reach my ‘ideal’ in my mind. I demand myself to be what I want and then condemned it when it fails. I often thought in my mind, “I wish I could be like her or him. Maybe if I were them, I could be happier than now. I wish I could have what she or he has.” And, I just knew that this attitude is an idealistic attitude which was in Greeks’ worldview hundred years before Christ. As the result of their worldview, they do not exist anymore now. Their greatness is just temporary.

Psa 139:14 says,” I will praise Thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” This Scripture contradicts the idealism. If idealism thinks that their bodies and everything in it are not the best, God says that He had created us wonderfully, so everything that we have right now is the best from God. Instead of trying to pursue and chase the best ‘ideal’, we just need to develop the talents given by God for us and make the best out of it. We do not have to chase the perfect ‘ideal’. We are not perfect, yes that is true, and we will not always be perfect. That is why pursuing perfection is unrealistic. Yet, we are unique and we all have at least one thing to be proud of. All humans make mistakes because we all have weaknesses, but that is okay. As what 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness,” weaknesses are the power for us to release God’s power. So, it is useless for us to achieve perfection. It will make us depend on our own strength and not on God’s while actually God’s divine strength is much stronger than our strength.

There is a quote from Anthony Idem, Jr., which says, “Being the best is great, you're number one. But being unique is greater, you're the only one.” This quote is very true and connected to the idealism. I do not have to be frustrated when I cannot be perfect or achieve the ‘ideal’ which I created by myself. I should not compare myself with others for God created me unique. God did not create me so perfect because He wants to reveal His power in my life. Instead, God created me unique and wonderful that He placed a valuable treasure inside me. This treasure does makes differences. There are things that only I can do because it is my purpose of life. I might not have what others have, but I also have what others do not have. I should not be jealous or frustrated then. All that I have to do is finding out the treasure and developing it. I should just do what I can do. My weaknesses? I will just surrender it to God. Those weaknesses are the ones that make me have a total dependant on my Creator. I have to be thankful and grateful of what God has given to me. I should pursue God not perfection. If I keep this attitude, I will achieve the great things and my life will be meaningful. My greatness will last and can be passed down to generations after me. There is no ideal me, but there is unique me !

Bahasa Indonesia Sebagai Jati Diri Bangsa (versi indo)


Jati diri merupakan hal yang cukup rumit dan tidaklah mudah ditemukan bagi kebanyakan orang. Bahkan, tidak jarang seseorang yang sudah berumur 40-50 tahun masih bertanya – tanya tentang jati dirinya. Sebenarnya apakah jati diri itu? Jati diri adalah sebuah kepribadian seseorang yang membedakan dirinya dari orang lain di sekitarnya. Jati diri sifatnya melekat, bahkan kematianpun tidak dapat memisahkan seseorang dari jati dirinya. Jati diri tidak sempurna, tidak hanya memiliki kelebihan tetapi pula kelemahan. Namun, alangkah lebih baiknya jika kita mengganti kata kelemahan dan kelebihan dengan kata keunikan. Ini berarti, penting bagi kita untuk dapat menerima kelemahan seperti kita menerima kelebihan. Memang, kita harus mengakui bahwa kita memiliki keterbatasan dan ketidakmampuan. Tapi, kelemahan tersebut tidak boleh membuat kita menjadi pesimis dan putus asa. Lalu, pada akhirnya, karena ketidakpuasan yang mendalam, kita berusaha menjadi ‘pribadi yang lain’ dengan secara penuh meninggalkan pribadi kita yang sesungguhnya dan mencoba mengadopsi pribadi orang lain. Mungkin, untuk sementara waktu, akan ada kepuasan di dalam diri kita karena berhasil menjadi ‘seseorang’ yang kita harapkan. Namun, sampai pada satu titik tertentu, kita akan menjadi frustrasi karena letihnya menjadi ‘seseorang’ yang bukan diri kita sendiri. Kita menjadi bingung akan siapa sebenarnya diri kita. Bukan hanya diri kita yang akan mempertanyakan diri kita sendiri, namun orang lainpun juga nantinya ikut mempertanyakan siapa kita sebenarnya. Jika ini terjadi, frustrasi akan semakin meningkat, yang akhirnya memicu terjadinya bunuh diri. Jati diri sangatlah dibutuhkan untuk mengetahui tentang siapa, bagaimana dan untuk apa kita ada di dunia ini, atau dengan kata lain, mengetahui tujuan hidup kita. Setiap individu tentunya tidak mempunyai tujuan hidup yang sama, jadi kita tidak dapat meniru pribadi orang lain. Untuk itu, penting bagi kita untuk mengakui dan menerima setiap kelemahan di dalam diri kita. Setelah itu, jangan membiarkan kelemahan tersebut tetap menjadi kelemahan, tapi memperbaikinya dan berusaha merubahnya menjadi kekuatan kita.

Bahasa Indonesia merupakan jati diri negara. Bahasa Indonesialah yang membedakan kita dari negara – negara yang lain. Tidak ada bangsa lain, selain bangsa Indonesia, yang memiliki bahasa Indonesia.bahkan beberapa sekolah di negara Australia mempelajari bahasa Indonesia. Inilah keunikan dari Indonesia. Bahasa Indonesia merupakan bahasa yang dapat menyatukan puluhan provinsi dan suku yang ada di Indonesia. Sayangnya, sekarang kebanggaan akan berbahasa Indonesia mulai surut. Alasannya sangat sederhana, sekarang banyak sekali orang Indonesia yang sama sekali tidak dapat menerima dirinya sebagai orang Indonesia. Bangsa ini sedang mengalami krisis percaya diri. Mereka sangat meremehkan Indonesia dan menganggapnya sebagai negara terburuk di dunia. Banyak dari mereka bermimpi untuk menjadi orang Amerika, Eropa, dan sebagainya. Mereka merasa lebih terlihat intelektual jika mereka dapat menggunakan bahasa asing daripada bahasa Indonesia. Dengan kata lain, mereka menolak jati diri mereka sebagai orang Indonesia karena ketidakpuasan mereka. Tidak salah jika kita ingin menguasai banyak bahasa. Yang salah ialah ketika kita sama sekali tidak mempunyai keinginan untuk dapat berbahasa Indonesia dengan baik dan benar. Jika kebanggaan akan jati diri, bahasa Indonesia, mulai mengeropos, perpecahan dapat terjadi. Maka, yang akan terjadi bukanlah kemajuan bangsa, namun keruntuhan bangsa.

Kita harus menyadari bahwa Tuhan sudah menempatkan kita di tanah air Indonesia sebagai warga negara Indonesia. Mau tidak mau, suka tidak suka, kita adalah warganegara Indonesia, dan kita harus dapat menerimanya. Kita tidak dapat menolak kenyataan yang telah Tuhan berikan. Kita juga harus menyadari bahwa Tuhan punya tujuan dan rencana mengapa Ia menempatkan kita di negara Indonesia. Jika kita tidak dapat menerima bahwa kita harus dapat berbahasa Indonesia yang baik dan benar karena kita orang Indonesia, kita juga tidak dapat memenuhi panggilan Tuhan bagi hidup kita. Kita ada di Indonesia untuk membangun negeri ini menjadi lebih baik. Kita tahu bahwa banyak sekali kelemahan yang dimiliki oleh bangsa kita dan kita akui itu, maka sekarang kita harus bekerja keras agar Indonesia dapat berubah menjadi lebih baik. Kelemahan - kelemahan yang dimiliki bangsa Indonesia tidak boleh membuat kita malu dan rendah diri akan Indonesia, kemudian merasa lebih terhormat jika kita lebih dapat menggunakan bahasa asing daripada bahasa Indonesia.

Marilah kita semua mulai berbangga akan keunikan bangsa Indonesia, menerima kelemahan Indonesia, dan berjuanglah untuk membuat bangsa Indonesia semakin baik, seperti yang kita inginkan. Baiklah kita mulai dari hal yang paling sederhana. Milikilah keinginan untuk dapat menguasai bahasa Indonesia yang baik dan benar. Belajar dan berlatihlah baik dalam lisan maupun tulisan. Mulailah kita membaca surat kabar berbahasa Indonesia, membaca buku – buku bahasa Indonesia, menonton berita berbahasa Indonesia, menghafal lagu wajib Indonesia, dan berkata – kata dengan bahasa Indonesia yang baik dan benar. Cintailah bahasa Indonesia karena itulah jati diri bangsa kita. Berbahasa Indonesia sama pentingnya dengan berbahasa asing. Mari kita bersatu untuk mempertahankan jati diri Indonesia dan memenuhi tujuan hidup kita sebagai orang Indonesia!